Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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