SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
