He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize