The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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