Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
