K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
