Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
