He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize