his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
