White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
