No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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