yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
