All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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