Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
