NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
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