just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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