I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
