True but thats because hes a fetus.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
