bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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