My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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