Me. At least after what I've been through.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
