i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
