Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
