whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
