dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize