Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize