Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize