Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
