I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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