it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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