We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
