The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
