Please don't use social media to get back at me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
