I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
