Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize