why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
