you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
