Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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