I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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