Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
