I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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