I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
