I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize