worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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