I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
