the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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