i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's never too late to be topless.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
