She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
