Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
