So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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