I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
