we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
