I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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