I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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