Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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