ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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