dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize