I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
