why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The air was thick with penises
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
