I just made out with a guy for $7.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
