Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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