every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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