You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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