you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do herpes really smell.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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