So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
