Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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