Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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