every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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