Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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