You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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